When the Job Breaks You: Workplace Harassment and My Mental Health Journey

Introduction: When Work Becomes Too Much to Bear

Key Messages I Want to Share

• If you feel like you’re reaching your limit, please don’t push yourself.
  There is always someone or somewhere you can turn to—whether it’s your company’s health nurse, HR, an occupational doctor, or an external support line.
• Everyone experiences stress differently.
  Even a short interaction or minor comment can be devastating, depending on the person.
  Don’t think, “I shouldn’t complain about something this small.” Speak up when it’s hard. Your pain is valid.
• Pushing yourself too far can lead to suicidal thoughts.
  Before taking leave, I also thought, “Maybe it’d be easier if I just disappeared.”
  But please—if it ever gets that bad, run. Your life is far more important.
• Don’t blame yourself.
  People have different abilities, mindsets, and limits.
  No one can be accepted by everyone. It’s okay to live life at your own pace.

Thrown Into Projects With No Handover

It all started when I was transferred to a regional branch. While my job role didn’t change, the environment and people around me did—and that shift alone was unsettling.
But what shocked me most was there was no handover whatsoever.

Although my supervisor was supposed to relay the duties of my predecessor, I was merely told, “Just look at the previous reports and do the same.” No explanations, no context.

I had no idea what the project involved, so I had to piece things together by asking colleagues. But my supervisor offered zero support or guidance.

Overloaded With Responsibility, No Support

Some kind coworkers recognized the situation and said things like, “It’s not fair to expect Makoto to handle this alone—please help him out.”
But my supervisor remained completely indifferent. Nothing changed.

Instead, I was told things like, “Anyone should understand if they read the past documents,” and “Stop making excuses.”
Eventually, he stopped talking to me altogether.

Constant Criticism Over Prioritization

I tried my best to manage tasks and deadlines, carefully setting priorities.
But I was constantly told, “Your priorities make no sense.”

Worse still, I was told, “Don’t waste time on crappy clients like that,” which felt like my entire job was being invalidated.

The Pressure Beyond Words

• No prior instructions or deadlines, yet I was scolded in the morning for not being “prepared.”
• Nearly left behind at the meeting point for a business trip because the car was driven off without a word.
• Laughed at through the nose every time I gave a report.
• Constant tongue clicks while I worked, creating an extremely tense atmosphere.

Even without verbal abuse, the constant pressure from these behaviors and the oppressive atmosphere wore me down.

The Breaking Point and Diagnosis

One day, I started experiencing insomnia, loss of appetite, and fear of going to work.
After visiting a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder.

The doctor recommended a three-month medical leave, which I accepted.

Closing Thoughts: It’s Okay to Walk Away

There were times I asked myself, “Am I just being weak?” or “Am I slacking off as a working adult?”
But now I can say with confidence:

In my next post, I’ll talk about how I discussed my leave with my company and the steps I went through. Stay tuned.